Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

White House Florist Dies

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

It was reported that Nancy Clarke passed away this week.  Beginning as a volunteer floral arranger in the early ’80′s, Mrs. Clarke served as the official White House florist for six presidents before retiring in 2009.

Friends are requested to send flowers in lieu of cards or charitable donations.

The Duh Headline of the Month

Monday, October 17th, 2011

The popular young British racing champion Dan Wheldon was killed this week in a 15-car crash at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.  His tragic death occured during an IndyCar event in which the cars were circling a 1.5 mile oval track at speeds in excess of 220 miles per hour.

The McClatchy News Service headlined their story, “Wheldon’s death raises safety concerns!”

You Sure You Got The Right Guy??

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

Hank Williams, Jr. was recently fired from ESPN for comparing the golf match between President Obama and Speaker John Boehner as being between Hitler and Netanyahu.  ESPN, in an epic PC move, fired Williams who had been featured on the opening NFL coverage with his rousing lyrics..”are you ready for some football?”

ESPN network said that they were worried that their viewers might be offended by Williams’ inference that the President was to be compared to Hitler.  Forgetting that his analogy had nothing to do with a comparison, ESPN, after offering a mea culpa to the President has yet to apologize to Speaker Boehner.

When contacted by this blog, Speaker Boehner, confessed through tears, that he was upset that no one thought to apologize to him.  “How do they know he wasn’t comparing me to Hitler??”

Vice-President Biden was quick to defend his President by publicly confronting Williams saying, “Hank, I knew Adolph Hitler and believe me, President Obama is no Hitler.”

How ‘Bout Some Cheese with that Whine, Jeff?

Monday, October 10th, 2011

GE’s Jeffrey Immelt was the subject of Leslie Stahl’s CBS interview last evening during which he was queried as to his role as President Obama’s chief of the Council on Jobs and Competitiveness.  When asked if there wasn’t some sort of irony that the GE CEO was actively moving jobs to Brazil and China when leading a council on creating jobs in the US, he could only whine that he wasn’t being loved.cryingboy

“I don’t understand why you aren’t rooting for me”, he complained to Ms. Stahl.  “In Germany, the Germans root for Siemen’s; in Japan the Japanese root for Toshiba; in China all the people root for China South Rail.”  He went on to state that he worked for investors and, “they want to see us prosper, so I want you to say… Win GE!”

See, maybe that’s the problem Jeff.  Maybe people would rather see a return on their investment rather than listen to some whinny CEO who takes home six million bucks a year while presiding over a company whose stock has dropped 60% during his tenure.

You want somebody to say Win, GE….?  Why don’t you hire Charlie Sheen?

Stand Up and Be Counted?

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

State Representative Ritch Workman is doing his part (and living up to his name) to lower the un-employment rate in his state of Florida;  a state with an unemployment rate 1.6 percent higher than the national average.  Rep. Workman has introduced a bill that would repeal a ban on dwarf tossing competition.

A popular pastime in many bars in Florida, the contest featured bar patrons competing to see who could toss a dwarf the farthest.  Banned in 1989, Rep. Workman claims that the ban has idled many dwarfs in the Sunshine State.  Exactly, how many dwarfs have been affected by the ban is not known.  As Rep. Workman says, “It is very easy in the census count to overlook dwarfs.” 

 He actually said that with a straight face.