Dominating entertainment news this week is the announcement by supermodel Heidi Klum that she and pop singer Seal are ending their seven-year marriage. In a recent interview with the media, Seal expressed his continued love for runway star Klum, and puzzled that he ,”can’t understand why she wants to leave him.”
I have a more puzzling question……
The New York Fashion Week is in full force this week featuring the best and hippest of the fashion world’s designers and models. Unfortunately, one of the stars of the modeling world, cover girl Nada Cjekavasheck, will not be walking the runway this week because she failed the new health rules for models. While her 2-inch-diameter thighs passed the tests, it was discovered she had no breasts.
Designer Alexander Wang expressed his regrets, but claimed that ..”it never occurred to me to allow for bosoms!”
Only in San Francisco….
Intactivism is a movement based in Wacky Town that is out to make circumcision for males under 18 illegal. They claim among other things that the procedure reduces sexual satisfaction.
Well, that explains that.
Leave it to the Brits to come up with the euphemism of the month. The Holiday Inn chain in England has announced a new service in three of their hotels in London and Manchester. At no extra charge, the chain is offering a “human bed warmer” who will s
pend 5 minutes in your bed to bring it to the optimal sleeping temperature of 72 degrees. Spokeswoman Jane Bednall explains that it is “like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed!” Of course it is. Exactly which “humans” will be doing the warming has not been decided, but in a preliminary company survey, 98% of male business travelers said that given a choice, like AC/DC sang… they “want a woman in red at the bottom of their bed!”
This may be just the shot in the arm the travel industry needs. Tiger Woods has already booked a suite for the month of April….”I swear Elin, she is just a “bed warmer.”
Nevada farmer Noah Krautt denied rumors that he was paid to keep quiet about an alleged week-end that Tiger Woods spent with his sheep. “Ain’t never seen nor talked to the man”, claimed farmer Krautt when interviewed in his new Escalade with the custom surround sound system and cobalt rims. “‘Sides”, he continued, “my sheep don’t mess around. They’re like my family…sure a couple of ‘em liked to be spanked once in a while, but that don’t mean nuthin. I mean listen,” farmer Krautt continued after checking the time on his new TAG HuerSLR Calibre S Laptimer with the gold band and diamond bezel, “if you was the most famous athlete in the world, you gonna come out here in the middle of nowhere where there hardly ain’t no way to get here, ‘cept maybe that new airstrip behind the barn, just to be with a sheep…or two?
Farmer Krautt ended the interview by offering the reporters several cases of Gatorade. “We don’t drink that shit no more!”, he said as he reached for his AT&T cell phone.