Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have announced that they are engaged to be married. In announcing their engagement, the 19-year-old Bristol stated that even though they are formally engaged they will not live together and will practice abstinence from sexual relations until they are actually wed.
Bristol and Levi’s 19-month-old son, Tripp, is scheduled to be a guest on Larry King’s show to explain his mother’s interpretation of abstinence.
President Obama this morning angerly warned BP that it better not pay out millions of dollars in stock dividends to the shareholders while it was “nickel and diming” the residents and business interests in the Gulf area.
When it was pointed out to the President that millions of people including retirees and pension funds depend on the dividend income to help pay for living expenses he immediately assailed BP for considering a dividend cut . ”My daughter interrupted a cabinet meeting this afternoon,” the President explained, “and asked, ‘Daddy have you paid the dividend been paid yet’?'” He promised her he would not let BP ”nickel and dime” the American shareholder as he outlined a six-billion dollar stimulus plan for all BP shareholders.
Boston Mayor Thomas “Mumbles” Menino has wasted no time in reacting to Arizona’s new draconian policy toward illegal immigrants. Recognizing that illegals may not be able to trek their way through the former Arizona gateway to Boston, the Mayor with the backing of the Boston City Council, has announced a 25-million-dollar plan to fly illegal immigrants directly from Juarez, Mexico to Boston’s Logan airport.
“To treat illegal immigrants as criminals is abhorrent”, the Mayor claimed in his announcement. When asked if the very word illegal wasn’t defined as not legal, i.e. criminal, the Mayor responded that he didn’t need any smart-ass college type reporter parsing his words. The Mayor spoke for a few more minutes, but the best anyone could make out was, “mmhwha musha bublleme… ” or something like it.
The Mayor did admit later he had no idea what parsing meant. Or abhorrent.
Katie Couric just lost an evening news viewer. At 8:15 this morning on the CBS Good Morning America show she “previewed” the news that she would be reporting on her 6:30PM show TONIGHT! How she knew 10 hours ahead of time what the news of the day was going to be is simply unbelievable. It’s an amazing gift, but I wonder though if CBS has really thought this “preview” idea through. Why would anyone waste time watching Katie at night when she’s already dished the scoop in the morning?
In an effort to one-up Katie and CBS, it is rumored that Brian Williams will begin giving the Tuesday night news on his Monday night broadcast and continue to stay ahead of the competition by a good 24 hours through-out the week.
The best bet, however, is on the ABC evening news where Diane Sawyer is going to be announcing the Wednesday PowerBall number on her Tuesday night show. Now that’s network news worth watching.
(read more on this at www.wrysandwherefores.com)
President Obama will be in Tampa today to announce a 1.24 billion dollar plan to build a high speed train service from there to Orlando. According to Google, it is 91 miles from Tampa to Orlando and takes 1 hour and 29 minutes by car. Heck, It takes that long just to get across Tampa in rush hour for crissakes, but you don’t see him building a bullet train for that. So, here’s my question….just how fast do the people in Tampa need to get to Disney World?
Is he concerned that someone living in Tampa may have to commute to Disney World for their job? I have an idea Mr. President; give them money to buy another house. You can buy any house in Florida right now for $42. I figure you can relocate the entire population of Tampa to Orlando for about 65-grand. Throw in another 3-grand for shuffleboard courts and half the people won’t even notice the difference.
Unfortunately, the President’s plans don’t stop there. He envisions a further expense by expanding the high speed service from Orlando to Miami. One problem with that plan. No one from Orlando goes to Miami. New Yorkers go to Miami. New Jerseyites go to Miami. Germans, Russians, Brazilians, Bolivians, Equadorians, and Sean Penn go to Miami. Orlando folk do not go to Miami.
So ditch that one too Mr. President and take the money saved and spend it where rapid transit is really needed. Us folks up north don’t need a bullet train to get to Disney World…just a way to get through D.C. on route 95 in less than a day and a half. That’s change that Mickey would cheer and could help you recapture Massachusetts!