Wry On The Rocks

Apparently there are 2 types of math in America.  There’s the math they taught us in school…you know, the kind that says 2 plus 2 equals 4… the kind of math that most of us use in our daily lives.  Then there is the type of math that is used in politics.  The federal Head Start program recently announced that the $787 billion stimulus plan had saved 14,506  jobs.  A review of the details of those numbers showed that actually more than two-thirds of those saved  jobs were simply existing job employees who received raises!

Health and Human Services spokesman Luis Rosero explained the math this way…”If I give you a raise, it is going to save a portion of your job!”  He didn’t explain what portion, but Myrtis Mulkey-Ndawula, director of the federal sponsored program in Moultrie, Ga. explained it this way;  following White House guidelines, she multiplied her 508 employees by 1.84..the percentage pay raise they received…and came up with 935 jobs saved!!

Now if the Administration’s goal is to give the impression that the stimulus plan is working by counting raises as saving jobs, they are going to be down right giddy when they see the Wall Street bonus  figures!!  What is that percentage pay raise formula again?

The Windy City folk are understandably upset that President Obama couldn’t bring home the gold from Denmark.  The question on every-one’s mind is …why did he choose to fly over the ocean like some common mortal when he just as easily could have walked. 

If it’s any consolation to the Windy City folks, the IOC is considering adding “Walking On Water” as an Olympic sport for 2016.

Unfortunately, Cambridge police officer Sgt. James Crowley has agreed to meet with President Obama and Henry Louis Gates, Jr. to “have a couple of beers” at the White House.  This has to be one of the most tricked up events of Obama’s tenure so far.  A kumbaya beer party at the White House?  Just a few guys having a couple of beers together?? Give me a fucking break!  Obama made the mistake of speaking without a teleprompter…said something dumb and offensive without any facts…nothing new there…and now Sgt. Crowley is going to let him turn it into a positive spin?  The best that can come out of this is Obama exclaiming that he only wants to drink American beer…Budweiser!  Shouldn’t someone tell him….hello Jim Koch of Sam Adams beer…that Budweiser is now owned by a Belgium company??  I guess that factoid wasn’t on his teleprompter this week.  Then there’s poor old Al Sharpton, who was headed to Kennedy airport for Cambridge when he heard the news.  “What happened to the good old racists?” he was heard to bemoan the reporters who still bother to listen to him.  If Obama keeps making nice, nice with everybody, Al and Jesse are going to need a stimulus plan of their own.

The Boston Globe Saturday’s magazine section has a full page ad on the back cover promoting Father’s Day.  The “pitch” is in the title “celebrate your family patriarch.”  It then proceeds to advertise two books and a family photo of Ted Kennedy.  Now I realize that the Kennedy’s are noted for large families, but are they so big to warrant a full page ad to promote their patriarch to the off-spring??  I mean I know my father and trust me, he is no Ted Kennedy!

Mass Governor Deval Patrick recently appointed State Senator Marian Walsh to the post of assistant director of a state bonding authority; a post of such importance that no one has filled the position for over 12 years.  Mrs. Walsh, an early and avid supporter of his governorship, will be paid $175,000 per year…a $100,000 increase over her current salary!  Her main job?  Coordinate with other agencies in order to achieve savings!  Here’s an idea Gov…how about not paying people $175,000 to fill a postion that doesn’t need filling!!  Oh, and by the way, the Governor tapped Ms. Walsh’s husband, Paul Buckley, a few years back to sit on the Industrial Accident Board…a post that pays $113,000 per year…this, by the way, will substantially boost Mr. Buckley’s pension from his previous tax-payer funded job as District Court judge.  Ain’t saving money great??