NYC Mayor Bloomberg issued an executive order today restoring his leadership mantle when he urged all New Yorkers to stay home today following last nights snow storm.
“After all”, he said, “the Sanitation employees aren’t going to work ,so why should you?”
A big shout out to Michelle Obama who announced a joint collaboration with Walmart to reduce the amount of caloric laden food stuffs that the mega-chain sells to un-suspecting mothers and children.
Her press conference came this morning following a state dinner with China President Hu Jintao which consisted of Maine Lobster, lemon sorbet, rib-eye steak, double stuffed potatoes and apple pie with vanilla ice cream…total calorie count =2400.
It’s OK, though. According to a spokesperson for the First Lady, “Walmart doesn’t sell double stuffed potatoes”.
President Obama announced today that he has heard the American people and henceforth promises to a zero sum spending policy…only spend what you take in.
To prove his adherence to this stance he points to the fact that on his visit to India he secured a $10 billion dollar trade deal. He predicts this should just about cover his travel expenses in Mumbai and Indonesia. He’s hopefull about a similar deal in South Korea to pay for the return trip.
Apparently Congressman Joe Sestak is back in good graces at the White House as Robert Gibbs incorporated the Representative’s favorite phrase into his WH jargon.
When asked if some Gulf residents weren’t over-reacting to Tony Hayward’s sailing vacation, Gibbs answered with, “Make no mistake, at the end of the day, this is a big fucking deal!!”
President Obama has declared no more Mr. Nice Guy. First, he was simply going to put his boot on BP’s throat, but now he’s getting serious. He is threating to kick some ass. He’s just not sure yet whose ass he’s going to kick, but it’s going to be someones. Talk about over-compensating. I figure any minute now, Press Secretary Gibbs is going to release a picture of Obama with a bandanna around his head, wearing steel toed boots and toting an AK-47.
I guess now we’re going to have to listen to President Rambo regale us with stories of how his daughter comes into his bath room every morning asking, “whose ass did you kick today, Daddy?”