Wry On The Rocks

    Michele Obama lashed out at George Bush today in announcing her mission to solve the obesity problem among young people.  The First Lady pointed out that one-third of young Americans today are over-weight and under nourished; a problem caused, she explained, by former President Bush.  “It’s no secret,” she said, “that Mr. Bush had a weakness for M&M’s.  In fact, when he left the White House, he presented each of the press corps with a gift-wrapped box of M&M’s embroidered with the Presidential seal.  What kind of message was that to send to the youth of America?”

    Mrs. Obama discussed her goal of trying to un-do the 8-years of damage to nutritional values caused by the previous administration.  “What we need to do is get kids to eat more fruits, for example,”  she explained, “maybe the way we do it at State dinners..fruits dipped in chocolate.  We find it the perfect companion to the pumpkin pie tart, whipped cream & caramel sauce, petits fores and pecan pralines that ends our meals.”

     If that doesn’t work, she suggested that  they could eat cake.

     President Obama will be in Tampa today to announce a 1.24 billion dollar plan to build a high speed train service from there to Orlando.  According to Google,  it is 91 miles from Tampa to Orlando and takes 1 hour and 29 minutes by car. Heck, It takes that long just to get across Tampa in rush hour for crissakes, but you don’t see him building a bullet train for that.  So, here’s my question….just how fast do the people in Tampa need to get to Disney World?

    Is he concerned that someone living in Tampa  may have to commute to Disney World for their job?  I have an idea Mr. President; give them money to buy another house.  You can buy any house in Florida right now for $42.  I figure you can relocate the entire population of Tampa to Orlando for about 65-grand.  Throw in another 3-grand for shuffleboard courts and half the people won’t even notice the difference.

    Unfortunately, the President’s plans don’t stop there.  He envisions a further expense by expanding the high speed service from Orlando to Miami.  One problem with that plan.  No one from Orlando goes to Miami.  New Yorkers go to Miami.  New Jerseyites go to Miami.  Germans, Russians, Brazilians, Bolivians, Equadorians, and Sean Penn go to Miami.  Orlando folk do not go to Miami.

    So ditch that one too Mr. President and take the money saved and spend it where rapid transit is really needed.  Us folks up north don’t need a bullet train to get to Disney World…just a way to get through D.C. on route 95 in less than a day and a half.  That’s change that Mickey would cheer and could help you recapture Massachusetts!

Curt Schiller responded to Martha Coakley claiming that he was a Yankee fan in his tweet today that read…”what does she know…she throws like a girl!”

Martha in the meantime e-mailed Tom Brady today and wished him all the best against the Colts next week-end.

Here’s a flash….The Boston Globe just endorsed Democratic Senatorial candidate Martha Coakley!!  And they call it a NEWSpaper.  I have an idea…how about The Globe endorsing a Republican?  Now, that would be news!

    Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich claims in an Esquire magazine interview that he is “blacker than Obama.”  What the article didn’t report was that this was a clever publicity stunt on Blago’s part to promote his forthcoming rap CD in which “The Rod Dog’ comes out of the black closet. His title number is entitled “The Whiter Nigger” in which he raps….

“Now the O dog and me both from the Windy City, but I be doing jail while he been sitting pretty

Hey, I been black  ‘fore black was cool, got a birth certificate showing my gene pool.

Obama didn’t ’spect that he was black, ’til Nevada’s  Harry Reid pointed out that fact……………………

Now I grew up in five rooms  Daddy rented, and I’ve fetched coffee for massa Bill  Clinton…….

So all you bros  must feel betrayed,  cause  Harry only wants you if you’re a lighter shade…..

If that’s so, it just ain’t fair and it don’t  figger, but move   over Obama cause I’m the whiter, nigger. ”