Wry On The Rocks

The quote of the week has to be from Harvard senior Jim Crossen, from Davenport, Iowa.  ”No one ever told me I was poor until I got to Harvard!”

Circus owners in the UK are up in arms over a new immigration policy the government has instituted which prevents many circus acts from entering the country.  This is particularly accute among clowns and trapezes artists from Mexico and China.  It seems that the Brits who have attended circus schools in their own country don’t look on fire walking and fire blowing as a long term career, but as a hobby.  A recent situation arose when two young Chinese male trapeze artists were allowed into the country, but the young female that they were supposed to throw back and forth was denied entry.  Well, of course you can only pretend to be throwing someone back and forth for so long before the crowd starts to get a little restless; no matter how high in the air you are.  So, unless the home grown Brits start taking their fire breathing a little more seriously, the future of the circus in the Isles is dim.

Beechcraft Aircraft knows how to tap into the zeitgeist of America’s executives these days as evidenced by their new full page ad in the Wall Street Journal.  They are touting their King Air 350 turbo jet as energy effcient and claiming it the “greenest” aircraft in the sky…written presumbably with a straight face.  The ad goes go to claim that had the CEO’s of the Big Three auto companies joined to fly in the King Air, they would have have received a “warmer reception” from DC legislators.  Cost of this carbon-saving green jet: approximately $5.2 million dollars.  But here’s the good part.  Lest a CEO feels embarrased to down-size to such a cheaply priced air limo, the ad goes on to claim that the flying conference room is so well appointed that “passengers will think they’ve stepped into an aircraft costing millions more!”  Thank goodness.  I know that I’d be terribly offended if Ace Greenberg offered me a ride in a jet that only cost $5.2 million.

Speaking of down-sizing, the Journal also reported this morning that luxury-handbag designer Lambertson Trurex is seeking bankruptcy.  You know them…the company that markets handbags in the $3,000 to $5,000 range.  You might not think that this is a big deal, but it means quite a bit to some people.  Mrs. John Thain, for example, was over-heard complaining, “First it was the  goddammed jet and now it’s my pocketbook; so now where am I supposed to keep the fucking bonus?”

A nightclub in Randolph, Ma. is under the threat of license suspension for a recent shooting incident.  Police Chief Paul Porter has asked for a hearing on the license of The Vault Room following a shooting on Feb. 19th after closing time.  It is alleged that the police officer’s “safety is threatened..”  Among other penalties being considered against the bar is moving the closing time up to midnight from the current 2 AM.  

According to the police report, 20 shots were fired from two different guns which resulted in a person being shot in the foot.  Now, I respect the opinion of the police chief and I would be the last to wish a police officer harm, but let’s face it; if two people shoot 20 times and the best they can do is hit somebody in the foot, is that really a threat?  I think they should move the closing hours back to 3 AM,, then they couldn’t even hit a foot!

Their appears to be some funny business going on in the chocolate industry in Germany.  The German Federal Cartel Office is investigating charges that the major chocolate manufacturers such as Nestle, Kraft and Mars have colluded in price fixing.  Authorities have recently seized documents at major chocolate player Ritter Sport.  However, Ritter Sport spokesman has vehemently denied any such collusion.  The spokesmans name?  Petra Fix.  Nah, nothing going on there.