Wry On The Rocks

     Last evening, the Boston Pops premiered a tribute to the Kennedy legacy entitled “The Dream Lives On: A Portrait of the Kennedy Brothers.”  The musical piece, written by Peter Boyer with lyrics by Lynn Ahrens, includes quotes from various speeches by the three brothers and was spoken from the stage by actors Robert De Niro, Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman.

     The high profile audience at Symphony Hall included Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, Senate President Therese Muray, UMass president Jack Wilson and JFK Library Foundation CEO David McKean.

     While members of the Kennedy family were expected to attend the evenings festivities, several were noticeably absent.  Joe Kennedy was busy pumping gas in Everett, Mrs. Robert Kennedy Jr. was apparently unable to raise bail, and Patrick Kennedy was arrested for driving his car up the Museum of Fine Arts steps at 3 in the morning.  He claimed he was there to see the Kennedy brothers portrait.

    My wife and I always enjoy a few glasses of wine with dinner and the other night had a particularly lovely 2008 fish bladder with our lamb chops.  It was slightly more expensive than usual because it was not just any fish bladder, but sturgeon bladder which has less of a hint of salt water to it.  Not everyone, of course, favors fish bladder;some of our friends, for example, prefer a hint of egg white in their Pinot Noir while others prefer the smooth taste of milk byproducts in their Merlots.  These are just a few of the items that vintners might add to their grape concoctions.

     Because of the slew of forest fires in California this past year or so, you may find more and more wine from the state higher than usual amounts of fish bladder or other “additives” to hide the smokey taste of the recent harvests.

     If the FDA ever gets around to demanding full disclosure on wine labels it will be a boon to the average consumer.  I can never remember if the ’99 is better than the ’04 or vice-versa, but I damn sure know how much fish bladder I want in my burgundy.

    Michele Obama lashed out at George Bush today in announcing her mission to solve the obesity problem among young people.  The First Lady pointed out that one-third of young Americans today are over-weight and under nourished; a problem caused, she explained, by former President Bush.  “It’s no secret,” she said, “that Mr. Bush had a weakness for M&M’s.  In fact, when he left the White House, he presented each of the press corps with a gift-wrapped box of M&M’s embroidered with the Presidential seal.  What kind of message was that to send to the youth of America?”

    Mrs. Obama discussed her goal of trying to un-do the 8-years of damage to nutritional values caused by the previous administration.  “What we need to do is get kids to eat more fruits, for example,”  she explained, “maybe the way we do it at State dinners..fruits dipped in chocolate.  We find it the perfect companion to the pumpkin pie tart, whipped cream & caramel sauce, petits fores and pecan pralines that ends our meals.”

     If that doesn’t work, she suggested that  they could eat cake.

Here’s a flash….The Boston Globe just endorsed Democratic Senatorial candidate Martha Coakley!!  And they call it a NEWSpaper.  I have an idea…how about The Globe endorsing a Republican?  Now, that would be news!

     Reynolds American announced today that it has acquired Niconovum AB for $44 million.  Reynolds is the second largest tobacco company in the U.S. marketing cigarettes like Camel, Pall Mall, Winston and Kool.  Niconovum sells Zonnic, a product to help people stop smoking.  Did I miss something?  Is that like writing options against your main product?  Is it sort of like GM hiring Ralph Nader as President.

      How does the VP of sales for Niconovum convince the VP of sales for Camel that his 20% sales increase is a good thing?  And if Pall Mall sales increase, does that call for a lay-off of Niconovum employees?

    If this merger proves successful will we see McDonalds making a bid for WeightWatchers?  Perdue Chicken buying PETA? 

     Maybe Reynolds is taking a page out of the Don’s playbook; keeping their friends close, but their enemies closer.  Hopefully, the head honchos at Niconovum  don’t own any horses.