Wry On The Rocks

Republican hopeful Mitt Romney has unleashed a firestorm of controversy over the current tax code with the release of his tax returns showing a rate lower than that of the other 99% of us.  The difference between the money that Mitt and  “undertaxed” Warren Buffet make in a year is the difference in how “earned income” is taxed versus “capital gains”, the latter being how smart investors like Mssrs. Romney and Buffet become 1 percenters.

Today New York Times’ columnist James Stewart reports on the feedback he got when questioning readers on their personal tax rates.  Among  respondents was Jim Cramer, host of Fox News widely watched “Mad Money” in which the bellicose Mr. Cramer lectures viewers on the secret to making money in the stock market.

But, as Mr. Stewart reports, Mr. Cramer paid  a much higher rate than either Romney or Buffet because his income was all ”earned”…..the million-dollar salary Fox pays him to advise people on investments was his sole net income…so, money maven Cramer didn’t qualify for the lower tax rate because he had no net capital gains.  HIS LOSSES OUTPACED HIS GAINS!!!!

Could the boolya boy been taking his own advice????

As if Damien Hirst and his ringmaster, Larry Gagosian, had to offer any more proof that anyone sucked into buying one of 2 million “spot” “paintings” done by one of Hirst’s 44 “assistants”, has the intelligence just a notch above asparagus, they have come up with a new ploy. 

Anyone that signs up for a gold voucher and visits all 11 of the Gagosian galleries spread around the globe, from NYC to Paris to Athens to Hong Kong, et. al., will receive a signed print FOR FREE!.

The estimated cost of such a travel endeavor would range, according to travel agents, from $15,000 at the barest $5 a-day trip to $75,000 for the affluent.  The cost of a print if you simply took a cab to, say the NYC gallery,….about $3,500.

Nonetheless, the Gallery reports that 700 people thus far have signed up for vouchers to be able to brag about their free  Damien Hirst print.  Wouldn’t it just be cheaper and save a whole lot of time if they just wore a sticker that said, “Hello, I’m dumber than asparagus” ?

    The president of Toyota cars, Akio Toyoda, has been making the rounds recently to re-assure customers that he still makes the best cars in the world.  “I personally insure the quality of every car”, said Mr. Toyoda, “because my name is on every Toyota.”

    Now why should we trust anything said by a man that can’t even spell his own name.

Curt Schiller responded to Martha Coakley claiming that he was a Yankee fan in his tweet today that read…”what does she know…she throws like a girl!”

Martha in the meantime e-mailed Tom Brady today and wished him all the best against the Colts next week-end.

Swiss watch maker TAG Heuer has just agreed to continue to feature Tiger Woods in it’s print ads for an annual fee of $12 million to be paid in monthly installments. 

Tiger is expected to make the first  payment to TAG Heuer on Jan. 1st.  The watch maker said that it agreed to the low rate they are charging Tiger because of “our long relationship with world’s best golfer.” 

Woods is reported to be offering as much as $30 million a year to any new corporate sponsor that is willing to feature him as a spokesperson.  As an added bonus, he is willing to agree to a morals clause that would prohibit sex with anyone whose job involves nightclubs, restaurants, churches, schools, entertainment, airlines, taxi cabs, limosines, party planning, the Playboy mansion or farms.