Wry On The Rocks

Nike just announced a big spike in the sale of their 9-irons.  Sales were particularly strong in Las Vegas, New York and L.A.  and seemed particularly popular with bar maids, hostesses and party planners.  In an effort to capitalize on the momentum, Nike is offering two models…the regular lofted 9-iron and the “de-lofted” 9-iron designed for the professional swinger.  Designated as the “Elin” and the “Elin Pro” , Nike predicts this club will become the rage!

President Obama announced that after consulting with Tiger Woods’ wife Elin, he has named her to his strategy team for dealing with the war in Afghanistan.  The President was apparently greatly impressed with Mrs. Woods’ quick work in smashing the rear windows of her husbands SUV to extract him from the driver’s seat.  “It’s an exit strategy that I can believe in and the kind of thinking outside the box we need in the White House,” the Commander in Chief was quoted as saying.  “Make no mistake,” the President continued, “President Bush would have probably tried the driver’s door which is why we’re still in Iraq.  So, I’m pleased to announce today, and let me be perfectly clear here, that I have  approved a 9-billion-dollar budget to equip every one of our soldiers with a universal health plan and a Nike wedge.”