Wry On The Rocks

If any of my readers speak Russian, I would appreciate a translation of their  current  satellite name which reads in English as Phobos-Grunt.

The current political campaign was brought home to me last evening when I pondered the GOP front runner’s campaign slogan about regaining the soul of America.  It may make a catchy slogan, but has America…have I… lost my American values??  Am I out of touch with today’s values because…..

 While I don’t make a whole lot of money,  I  thought it would be OK if I did;  and I have no idea why someone would want to occupy Wall Street; the rents are too high, the streets are all one way, and bad guys periodically try to blow it up.

 I used to think Newt Gingrich made a lot of sense, which was before he became  fat, deranged and a cartoon; I think Ron Paul still makes a lot of sense, and at least isn’t fat.

 I don’t understand how FedEx can make millions and the US Post Office go bankrupt.

I don’t understand how job growth rate in our Government can grow at 15% in a recession.  (Actually I do unerstand it, just don’t like to dwell on it.)

 I have never watched a TV show hosted by Oprah, Ellen, Dr. Phil, or Billy Bush and have no interest in the fact that Beyonce had a baby, much less how much she paid for the hospital room or why she picked a Martian name for the kid.

 I can’t name even one of the Kardashian sisters and don’t care who Kate Hudson, Katy Parry, Brittany Spears, Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen or most anyone else west of the Rockies, married, divorced, assaulted or was seen canoodling with in Cabo, Martinique or the Seychelles.

I think it’s OK to dis-like the current President without being labeled a racist and OK to like Mitt Romney without believing in that buried book stuff.  I just wish he’d pick a new slogan.  One not so depressing.

According to the Boston Globe, there has been flagrant disregard of the downtown parking rules by valet parking firms and their restaurant clients.  Illegal double parking in popular restaurant destination areas like the South End and the Back Bay is particularly rampant.  Part of the problem, according to the Globe’s investigative team, is that there is little if any putative action taken against the offenders.

The article cites a case where the restaurant Petit Robert, having been found guilty of violation of parking rules, was barred from providing entertainment for 2 nights.  In Petit Robert’s case this simply required them to turn off their 30-inch TV over the bar. 

What the Globe didn’t report was that Petit Robert sucessfully sued the City when the enforcement agency was unable to prove that there was anything entertaining about TV these days.

Diane Bozzi of Rochester, N.H. was the victum of a thief last week, who stole a urn from her unlocked car;  an urn containing her mother’s ashes.  Fourtunately, the thief wasn’t interested in Ms. Bozzi’s mother’s ashes and returned the urn several days later.   Ms. Bozzi explained that ever since her mother’s death in 2002 she has been carrying the ashes with her to her weekly bingo games because she brought her good luck.

This news is bound to hurt rabbit’s foot sales.

The National Rifle Association brokered a last minute deal that settled the NBA player/management negotiations.  In a 11th-hour compromise, management agreed to “look the other way” for any player  carrying concealed weapons into strip clubs, dance clubs, high school reunions or divorce proceedings in return for  players agreeing not to carry anything larger than an AK-47 within 100 yards of their home arena.

Other concessions included management agreeing to paying the full cost of a players first 40 tattoos  and half the cost of diamond ear studs and/or gold teeth implants, not to exceed two front and one incisor. 

 Both sides agreed to limit the hang time on a rim to 30 seconds and the length of this years game shorts to 14 inches below the knee.