Wry On The Rocks

      President Obama has declared no more Mr. Nice Guy.  First, he was simply going to put his boot on BP’s throat, but now he’s getting serious.  He is threating to kick some ass.  He’s just not sure yet whose ass he’s going to kick, but it’s going to be someones.  Talk about over-compensating.  I figure any minute now, Press Secretary Gibbs is going to release a picture of Obama with a bandanna around his head, wearing steel toed boots and toting an AK-47.

       I guess now we’re going to have to listen to President Rambo  regale us with stories of how his daughter comes into his bath room every morning asking, “whose ass did you kick today, Daddy?”

     President Obama this morning angerly warned BP that it better not pay out millions of dollars in stock dividends to the shareholders while it was “nickel and diming” the residents and business interests in the Gulf area.

     When it was pointed out to the President that  millions of people including retirees and pension funds depend on the dividend income to help pay for living expenses he immediately assailed BP for considering a dividend cut . ”My daughter interrupted a cabinet meeting this afternoon,” the President explained, “and asked, ‘Daddy have you paid the dividend been paid yet’?'”   He promised her he would not let BP ”nickel and dime”  the American shareholder as he outlined a six-billion dollar stimulus plan for all BP shareholders.

    The next time you need to buy a computer should you  believe the claims of Steve Jobs or Bill Gates regarding their product?  Or should you believe the Oracle of Omaha prognostications regarding investments? 

     Kang Lee, director the Institute of Child Study at University of Toronto, has released a study that tracked children who lie versus those youngsters who tell the truth.  The study makes the claim that children who lie as early as age two have faster developing brains than their peers; they are merely exhibiting their mental acuity.  This, according to Mr. Lee , will lead to greater intellectual achievements.  Thus, Mr. Lee goes on to exclaim,  parents should not be concerned if their little darling tells a fib. 

     So remember, the next time you hear someone protest that your toddler is a little lying bastard, simply take it as the ultimate compliment and start pricing vacation condos.

     Last evening, the Boston Pops premiered a tribute to the Kennedy legacy entitled “The Dream Lives On: A Portrait of the Kennedy Brothers.”  The musical piece, written by Peter Boyer with lyrics by Lynn Ahrens, includes quotes from various speeches by the three brothers and was spoken from the stage by actors Robert De Niro, Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman.

     The high profile audience at Symphony Hall included Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick, Senate President Therese Muray, UMass president Jack Wilson and JFK Library Foundation CEO David McKean.

     While members of the Kennedy family were expected to attend the evenings festivities, several were noticeably absent.  Joe Kennedy was busy pumping gas in Everett, Mrs. Robert Kennedy Jr. was apparently unable to raise bail, and Patrick Kennedy was arrested for driving his car up the Museum of Fine Arts steps at 3 in the morning.  He claimed he was there to see the Kennedy brothers portrait.

Best sub-headline of the Boston Globe this week…”Obama’s aunt is granted asylum…critics contend politics played role in decision!”   Do you think??

Neither the President or his spokesperson had any comment on the decision in favor of his aunt, Zeituni Onyango, who has been living illegally in the US since 2000.