NYC Mayor Bloomberg issued an executive order today restoring his leadership mantle when he urged all New Yorkers to stay home today following last nights snow storm.
“After all”, he said, “the Sanitation employees aren’t going to work ,so why should you?”
Tom Brady has never made it to the championship game sporting long locks and facial hair.
A big shout out to Michelle Obama who announced a joint collaboration with Walmart to reduce the amount of caloric laden food stuffs that the mega-chain sells to un-suspecting mothers and children.
Her press conference came this morning following a state dinner with China President Hu Jintao which consisted of Maine Lobster, lemon sorbet, rib-eye steak, double stuffed potatoes and apple pie with vanilla ice cream…total calorie count =2400.
It’s OK, though. According to a spokesperson for the First Lady, “Walmart doesn’t sell double stuffed potatoes”.
As a public service to any of my readers who graduated from high school more than 30 years ago, I offer the following tale.
I just returned from a long week-end at a friends’ Texas quail ranch for a planned reunion with six other friends from high school days. Unfortunately, none of them could make it. Instead, six slow-moving, arthritic-ridden, grey-haired impostors showed up. While several of them looked vaguely familiar and, having been well coached, were able to talk the talk, they had a problem with the walk the walk part. Same with the shoot the shoot or ride the ride part.
Now, if you find yourself, as I did, in a similar situation….feeling smug about how much younger and fit you are than your contemporaries…do yourself a favor…go horse back riding and get back to reality. Of course it sounds like fun. Of course John Wayne looked great in the saddle. Of course I wanted to ride the range. So, my host generously provided not only a horse of my choice, but two of his best ranch hands to accompany me.
Let me cut to the chase…I mounted the horse feeling like a 40-year-old at the top of his game and dismounted an hour later a broken 80-year-old. (Of course, I’m exaggerating for comic effect. I actually only felt like 
75.) Later in thanking my host, I asked how much the ranch hands were paid, and he said very little. The value of watching guys like me on a horse was priceless entertainment. Glad I could help, Al.
Actually, it was great fun and I hope to go again next year. That’s assuming, of course, that the staff still has a sense of humor and all the doors are enlarged for my wheel chair.
Amazon has started a new program that allows members to convert “Aunt Mildred’s” gifts into gift certificates, i.e. you can register anyone who habitually sends you unwanted gifts and have, not only the gift turned into a cash coupon, but also a nice thank you card sent for the unreceived gift. I hope Mr. Zuckerman is listening.
What is really needed is a Facebook program that allows you to block folks you don’t care to befriend without their knowledge. Instead, Facebook will welcome them on your behalf and periodically send messages from you like..”just returned from snow shoeing at the North Pole on our way to ride Orca’s in Tahiti. But hey, what have you been up to?”