It won’t Fit Behind the Ears
Memo to wife: Soap should not be black. Soap should not be brown. Or green. Or purple. Soap should not be square or rectangular with sharp edges. Soap should not have a surface like 3-day-old grease in a frying pan with little things sticking out of it. Soap should not have cute sayings carved into the bar.
Soap should be smooth. Soap should be white with rounded edges to fit in your hand. Soap should not be bought in a store with the word “au” in it’s name. Soap should be bought in an A&P and should be wrapped in plain paper; soap should not be wrapped like a birthday gift. Soap should not smell like perfume; it should sting when it gets in your eyes. Soap should only come in a liquid dispenser in public places like gyms or prisons…I know who has been in my shower.
So no more of these, OK?
Good. Now, did I mention the hair in the sink?