Wry On The Rocks

  Further notes from the road…Just arrived in Longboat Key for a much anticipated  10 days of sun and relaxtion after a very hard winter in Massachusetts. Problem..it’s raining..50 degrees and 20 knots wind!  There may be a sun up there somewhere, but I owe that knowledge to Copernicus rather than personal observation….and the forecast for the next week is not encouraging…let me put it this way…the local community college is offeing a six-week course in Ark building!

There is a new addition to my list of “people -who-just- don’t- get-it.”  Gail Mathias is upset at the Mass Lottery agency for raising the odds on winning Megabucks from 5.2 million to one to 13.9 million to one  Obviously, Ms. Mathias thought she was odds on favorite to walk away a winner at only 5.2 million to one.  That alone made her a finalist on “people-who-just- don’t….”, but what ultimately catapulted her into the winners circle was the rationale behind her complaint.  “They just do it to get more money”, complained the angry player.  Hello, Ms. Mathias…you see the lottery was set up to…oh, never mind…welcome to the list.

Who says there’s no justice?  Remember Robert Shapiro?  He of the Dream Team that got the Juice off the hook…for which it was reported that OJ paid him $3 million for his work?  Well, lately he’s been on TV flogging his latest venture, LegalZoom.com, in which he explains how, with his software, you can be your own lawyer.    What wasn’t reported is that after he cashed  OJ’s check, he called him and said ,  “Thanks for the check…but you could have done this yourself for one ninety nine!”

How many more months am I going to have to open the paper and see Tom Brady on the society page?  I don’t want to see my quarterbacks on the society page…I want to see them on the sports page where they belong!  And I damn sure don’t want to see them “canoodling” in public.  What’s with this?  All I see of Tom Terrific is pictures walking down Manhattan streets with flowers in his hand…walking through international airports carrying that models luggage…grinning like an idiot as she waves to the paparazzi.  What happened to the quarterbacks of old…men…men of legend with legendary names…”Slingin’ Sammy” Baugh, Roger, “the Dodger”, Staubach…Kenny, “the Snake”, Stabler…and my all time favorite “Broadway Joe” Namath.  And in New England, what do we have; Tom, “The Canoodler”, Brady!  Quarterbacks used to be men in the NFL.  Bobby Layne played half his games without a helmet for Christ’s sake.  Brady would lose his cover boy contract with Vanity Fair if he tried anything like that.  Don’t get me wrong; if Tom feels the need to be led by the nose by some  foreign model that’s his business, but Jesus Tom, next time you feel like canoodling, how ’bout closing the damn door!

Mass Governor Deval Patrick recently appointed State Senator Marian Walsh to the post of assistant director of a state bonding authority; a post of such importance that no one has filled the position for over 12 years.  Mrs. Walsh, an early and avid supporter of his governorship, will be paid $175,000 per year…a $100,000 increase over her current salary!  Her main job?  Coordinate with other agencies in order to achieve savings!  Here’s an idea Gov…how about not paying people $175,000 to fill a postion that doesn’t need filling!!  Oh, and by the way, the Governor tapped Ms. Walsh’s husband, Paul Buckley, a few years back to sit on the Industrial Accident Board…a post that pays $113,000 per year…this, by the way, will substantially boost Mr. Buckley’s pension from his previous tax-payer funded job as District Court judge.  Ain’t saving money great??